Thank you to the author for providing me with a free copy of this novel to read and review!

The Day My Soul Died by Rishi Vohra tells the story of an Indian woman, Sunaina Shah, who experiences sexual violence and endures a series of struggles in her efforts to seek justice and recover mentally and emotionally. This is a story told in retrospect; in the prologue, we’re introduced to Sunaina in jail. She accepts a visit from a writer who wants to hear her account of events and present her story to the world through a fictional retelling.

At the beginning, Sunaina leads a normal life with her parents and younger sister. Her main concerns include her desire to pursue a master’s program in the U.S., her parents’ pressure to marry her boyfriend Paras, and her newfound motivation to join a gym and lose weight; Paras is a fitness freak, which plays a part in her decision.

She meets the owner of a nearby gym, Pradeep Jasnani, on her way to work one day. He convinces her to schedule a visit for a consultation and sign up for a membership—yet when she arrives for her early-morning appointment, he rapes her in his office. Sunaina immediately files a report on him but has to deal with a mounting cascade of adversities, including intimidation from a local politician, lies circulating about the incident, and a breakup with Paras.

Ultimately, her parents send her to the U.S. in the hopes that working toward her master’s will help her move forward from the traumatic event, but this choice increases her emotional pain over time.

Throughout the book, Sunaina is generally pretty self-aware. Not too long after the rape occurs, she has a close moment with her male neighbor Rafiq and then thinks, “I wanted to be loved, but knew after what had happened to me, I wouldn’t be able to recognise or receive love for a long time.” Though she still experiences the common mental turmoil and disorientation that happens after sexual violence, she knows the road to any sort of psychological relief will be complex and plagued with twists and turns, and she has a clear understanding of how her position in Indian society (as a woman, and especially as an unmarried one) will influence her case.

She possesses a solid idea of what she wants and does what’s within her reach to get it, all while trying her best to escape the restrictive expectations of her society to secure the life and justice she deserves. Her characterization draws sympathy because you realize that pervasive misogyny prevents her from having a lot of viable options for justice, which leads her to make some unwise decisions.

The book frequently invokes the title; there are numerous references throughout of Sunaina’s soul being dead or hurt/damaged, which does become heavy-handed after a point. Her volatile state of being comes through clearly in her actions and thoughts, so the repeated lines describing the condition of her soul don’t feel necessary.

I also would’ve liked to see more of Sunaina’s best friend Sonia. She’s doting and helpful immediately after the rape happens, but her role in the story shrinks once Sunaina has to strike out on her own at college—and later when she’s in jail. Having that female friendship carried throughout the narrative, especially with someone Sunaina has been close with for so long, might have contributed even more emotional impact. However, Sunaina meets many other women along her journey and is uplifted by several who go the extra mile to support her and help her achieve her desired outcomes, which makes up for Sonia’s lesser role in the latter half.

I’ll try to avoid spoiling the ending, but I will say that I’m glad the conclusion of the novel makes it clear that Sunaina finds her own form of justice and isn’t left feeling perpetually guilty or remorseful for doing what she saw as necessary for her case. I get very tired of the many narratives (especially in Hollywood) that tie traumatic incidents up with a neat bow—where someone is brutally victimized but decides to forgo any form of revenge so they can remain the “bigger person.” Where is the gray morality? Where is the actual complexity of the human experience? This book brings that complexity through the care it gives in depicting the aftermath of sexual violence, and I appreciate that.

Pick up this book if you like:

• Narratives about women seeking revenge/justice
• Supportive/close family dynamics
• Realistic healing journeys
• Multicultural narratives

Pass it by if you don’t want to read about:

• Sexual assault/sexual violence
• Victim-blaming and misogyny
• Inhumane jail conditions
• Abusive family dynamics (Rafiq’s family)